AUGUST 1999 ----------------------------In this issue------------------------------------------ The Play's the Thing: So Who Died and Left Me Boss? Caprice Woosley muses about what could be and what should never be in the theatre world. Enter Laughing: Some production advice that probably hasn't occurred to you, and Production Meeting Buzz - held over from last month 'cause the editor isn't done using them in real meetings. Voices in Contemporary Theatre: Encouraging news in the long hot summer. Rubin's Corner: Mamma Mia and a Musical Autobiography with a Range of Styles. CyberTheatre Monthly: A Moment of Silence for Tonys.org, Finnegan's Farewell, and From the Mailbag: Choosing a Theatre E-mail address. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Play's the Thing So Who Died and Left Me Boss . . . Confessions of a Theatre Angel Ahhhh, those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer are almost at an end. Soon I will replace moments of sitting poolside sipping a nice, tall, icy cool drink and watching the pool inhabitants with the deep dark recesses of a theatre and watching actors do their thing on stage. Maybe that is why outdoor theatre is nice . . . you can get the darkness and a bit of fresh air. On one of those lazy afternoons I find myself drifting off to nap in the afternoon sun. Before I know it, I find myself caught up in a world of theatre possibilities. I have been given the power to produce anything for the stage that I want. I can make or break shows at will. And except for the occasional interruption by two women who suspiciously remind me of Della Reese and Roma Downey, my angelic producing powers are in my control. I fly from theatre company to theatre company. I whisper in the ears of artistic directors around the theatre world. I can snap my fingers and begin work on something new, exciting and unheard of before my arrival. I can use this power for good or evil, which means good shows must be very good and bad shows have no chance to survive . . . oh wait, that sounds a bit like a critic’s job, huh? With my new-found power in hand I must decide what to do. My first act is to find things for the stage that have not been done yet. The following suggestions may well be in the works, even as I dream, and it is not my intention to infringe upon the rights of the writers . . . but, hey, this is my dream, so I can come up with some big ideas. The first is an idea I have for a musical (ok, stop laughing all of you who know my aversion to musicals, but this one would amuse even me!) based on the Blondie comic strip. Oh my gosh, can you imagine the fun of seeing a Dagwood on stage crashing into the helpless mailman, or Daisy trying to grab Dagwood’s sandwich from him. The songs could be cute and catchy, like I’m In A Dither, Mr. Dithers, The Postal Worker’s Lament (based on the previously mentioned mailman crash scene), Blondie to the Rescue (an integral part of every Blondie storyline), and even a Baby Dumpling song. After all, if the Charlie Brown characters can become a musical, why not the Blondie characters too. I wonder what Debbie Harry is up too these days (haha, I am joking!)? A second choice musical from a comic strip might be B.C. (now that could have lots of possibilities), or perhaps Dilbert, or Doonesbury. And wouldn’t a bunch of one-acts based upon the Far Side cartoons be interesting? Guess I feel asleep by the pool with the Sunday Funnies covering my face! Next I would look to projects that probably should not be done on stage. With the recent conversion with several movies to theatrical productions, especially the Disney productions of Lion King, I was thinking of movies that should not be converted. How about The Blair Witch Project, The Musical? See three intrepid film students try to sing their way through the woods. Song lyrics like “The woods are alive, with the sound of screaming/With blood-curdling cries from the soon-to-die” and “How do we solve a problem like Heather/What do we do to guys who lose the map” the audience would be humming their way out of the theatre. Or how about a musical based on Psycho? Talk about singing in the shower . . . “I’m singing in the shower (loud scream is heard)” . . . or a song based on Norman’s love of taxidermy and his mom called Gee Mom I’m Stuffed, and You Should Be Too, and the perennial favorite called I’m Just A Momma’s Boy Who Likes Wearing Momma’s Clothes. You can just hear the songs being born for The Godfather like “Oh Sonny boy, the guns, the guns are shooting” and I’ll Make You an Offer You Can’t Refuse. Of course there would have to be a song based on the famous horse’s head called A Horse’s Head Made a Horse’s Ass Out of Me. Runners up for the Don’t Make a Musical Out of Me category also include Aliens, Jaws, Silence of the Lambs (oh I can’t resist . . . I’ll Have You For Dinner With a Nice Chianti and Fava Beans), and The Exorcist. Now for the people I would like to see on stage . . . mind you, some of them are not traditionally thought of as actors, though several have made movies, and some of them just need to work more on stage. For beginners, how about a cast for A Midsummer Night’s Dream that includes David Bowie as Oberon, Enya as Titania, Cher as Hippolyta, and Mick Jagger as Bottom (as well as the other Stones as the Mechanicals). I would love to see a version of Merchant of Venice with Kevin Spacey as Shylock. Although Lawrence Fishburn did the film version of Othello, I would love to see Morgan Freeman, or Andre Braugher do the part on stage. I love the play Tartuffe, and would move heaven and earth to see Robin Williams play the part, although I would also like to see him and Billy Crystal in Larry Shue’s The Nerd. I would also consider either of them to play the Devil in Damn Yankees. How about getting Whoopi Goldberg to play Rose in Fences? And, with my immense amount of angelic theatrical power, I would try to make ticket prices stay within the range that everyone can buy them, and give shows more of a chance to survive. I would silence all the critics whose only purpose seems to be showing how tyrannical they can be as they hold sway over the life or death of a play. I would raise up a kind, gentler group of critics whose job it would be to educate and excite the masses about theatre and theatre-going. I would wave a magic wand over the theatre community and let them know how much good theatre gets missed at local colleges and universities. Yes, these are students who are not yet professional actors, but they are the future entertainers of the American stage. Ticket prices are affordable at these venues and you never know who you might be watching on Broadway in years to come. I would also grant funding to programs that bring theatre into the classrooms of elementary schools, after school programs and community centers. Kids are the best audience and they sometimes understand what we think they cannot understand. Give them Hamlet as a ghost/revenge story, or Winter’s Tale as a fairy tale and they will have such a good time. Teach them to use theatre to express their creative nature, whether by allowing them to write, and in some cases re-write, their own plays, or by acting and directing projects based on their own experiences. I could just see a group of young kids re-writing A Midsummer Night’s Dream, or writing a skit about life in their respective neighborhoods. Well, as with all dreams, they must end, and I awake to find that all of this is just, as they say in The Maltese Falcon, “ . . . the stuff that dreams are made of . . .” and the imaginings of a mind on a warm, lazy summer afternoon. Some of it was fun, and some was very serious. It tells me that the theatre world has lots of ideas still floating around waiting for someone to think it up. It also reminds me that there is still a lot that we can do to make theatre a better experience for the audiences. But, in the meantime, I see the cabana boy heading this way with another tall, cool drink, and I suddenly have other things to think about . . . I wonder what play I would cast him in??? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Enter Laughing Another Mailbag Submission that had to be shared: Production Advice that probably hasn't occurred to you: My play received a reading recently and I thought I would share some revelations on script development.for anyone out there who may be a budding playwright, or who has planted a playwright, but it has not yet begun to bud, or any playwrights out there drinking Bud at the moment. Actually, I have no revelations. That’s just a premise so I can say silly things. If you’re having a play read, it’s important to have it done in as hot a theater as possible. Intense heat makes the audience delirious to the point of thinking they are watching a better show. And it saps them of their strength so they can’t punch as hard. And the only comments they make afterwards are slight moanings and pleas for water. Fortunately for me, my reading venue was a steaming dank basement-the equivalent of sitting on aluminum furniture in a blast furnace. I kid ...because it’s a building and can’t fight back. If you are developing a play, you simply must have your reading in a raging inferno, because in such conditions a miraculous thing happens that allows you to judge the effectiveness of your play. The audience members start to fan themselves. This was such an amazing barometer that I have annoyed and bored all of my friends talking about it. Sitting in the back, your view is of rows of heads peeping over chairs. When the heads are still, they are at bay. Your play is of interest to them...or they are sleeping...or dead. I’m an optimist, so I assumed they were watching the play. When your play starts to lag, the fans appear-programs and such, fluttering like moths up from their laps. And the slower the play is, the faster they fan. One speech in my show so disengaged them, that the temperature in room dropped 10 degrees and one of the smaller cast members had to hold on to a pillar to keep from blowing away. It was a precise correlation so exact, all I had to do was sit back and make notes of when the fans came out. And if they scooch in their seats, you know which scenes to remove. And if they start ripping the seats up from their floor bolts and burning you in effigy, well...remind them that there’s punch and cookies at intermission. Held over 'cause the editor really likes them: Production Meeting Buzz: Useful phrases for a variety of situations: I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of bad Karma to burn off. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. How about never? Is never good for you? You sound intelligent and reasonable... Time to double up my medication. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. You are validating my inherent mistrust of humanity. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and quickly change the subject. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Voices in Contemporary Theatre In the middle of a long hot summer, when many theatres are dark, stage news is slow, and you work up a sweat just dropping ice cubes into your raspberry tea, it's easy to get depressed and pessimistic - it seems like the bad actors and 'gifted' directors have us outnumbered, it seems like the stupid people are winning, and you're just to sticky and uncomfortable to come up with a pithy third example required by the rhetorical rule of threes. This was very nearly a rant about that special circle of hell reserved for makers of bad theatre. And then something wonderful happened. A chance remark in a random websurf alerted me to the fact that there are still active synapses firing hither and thither around the planet, and some of them are actually doing so on behalf of the arts. Check out these links from family.com, a corner of Disney that evidently feels you don't put something like The Lion King on stage without giving parents some sort of primer about taking tykes to the theatre. Kudos guys! Tips for Taking Children to the Theater It can be wonderful when you do it right. I was also delighted to find they've noticed those $90 tickets are twice as discouraging when you're buying for four as when you're buying for 2: Drama at a Discount Family theater on a budget And if for some reason Shakespeare in Love doesn't do it for you or if the kids are still to young to enjoy this admittedly racy Miramax flick... Learning to Love Poetry Getting from Mother Goose to Shakespeare is an evolutionary process, one best achieved by finding poems you love, then reading them aloud. Now if you're wondering why I'm not just linking to these articles from CyberTheatre Monthly and reserving this column for the usual highly opinionated editorials, it's because there's more going on in these pieces than text on a webpage. There's an awareness by those making theatre that those seeing theatre are more than bottoms in the seats but actual people with lives beyond the two hours they spend watching tonight's show. That's as rare among theatre folks on broadway and at the community barn - let's hope it catches on, that both cultivate larger and more appreciative audiences. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rubin's Corner MAMMA MIA As I get ready for my semi-annual trip to London, I noticed the lack of new shows that have opened since by London trip in February. Even the long running Miss Saigon will close on October 30th. I did find one show that was a runaway hit. It seems impossible to get tickets to Manna Mia. I began to do some research on this production. Mamma Mia is a musical based on the songs of ABBA. My wife is a fan of ABBA, and she had all their records in her collection. The show opened on April 6, 1999, exactly 25 years to the day that ABBA won the Eurovision Song contest in 1974 with “Waterloo”, which strangely enough, is one of the few songs that is not feature in the show. The male members of ABBA, Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus wrote the songs. The story is by Catherine Johnson, who has the most difficult task of writing a script to compliment over 20 of ABBA’s songs. The group’s last production show was Chess. The story concerns Donna, who owns a small hotel on a tiny Greek Island. It is the eve of her daughter’s wedding and unbeknown to Donna, Sophie her daughter has invited three of her mother’s former lovers to the wedding, all whom had an affair with her mother 21 years ago. Sophie is trying to find out who her dad is, so she secretly invited these men because she had read in her mother’s diary that her mother had slept with each of them over a period of 15 days. One of these men is Sophie’s father, but which one. Perhaps, she should ask Judy Dench who played this role in last seasons Fiona. I am told that anyone who detests ABBA should stay well away. However, fans of ABBA will take a nostalgic trip down memory lane with a breathtaking ride of their favorite ABBA songs. Sisobhan McCarthy as the mother is outstanding. She has a powerful voice that belts out the ABBA songs in ABBA style. Here credits include the title role in Evita, Mary Magdalen in Jesus Christ Superstar, Fantine in Les Miserables, and Svetlana in the original production of Chess. There is also a great performance from the prolific Jenny Galloway. She brings a lot of humor to the show. The production received a critical panning from the popular press. The Evening Standard thanked the producers for the music, but shamed the show. The Times say, “With so much fun in the theatrical air, the rest of us might as well indulge them. Sheriden Morley, Playbill contributor wrote, “After a shaky start, Mamma Mia soars. The show has been scheduled for Broadway this coming season. It is impossible to get more that one ticket until the end of September. After that the show is booking until March 2000. This seems to be one of those runaway hits that has been created by the British theatergoer. Remember Saturday Night Fever! A MUSICAL AUTOBIOGRAPHY WITH A RANGE OF STYLES As my regular readers know, I am very careful when selecting Off-Broadway shows. Although they have good intentions they just never seem to catch my fancy. A few weeks ago a friend took me to see an Off-Broadway production called, Never On Friday. Because it was free I went to see the production. Just like the movies it turned out to be one of the most interesting evening of theater this season. Of the many anecdotes told by the Israeli singer Dudu Fisher in his one man show at the Jewish Repertory Theater, perhaps the most illuminating is that his grandfather wanted him to be a cantor and his voice teacher an opera singer. In Never On Friday his amiable and ingratiating entertainment manages to satisfy anyone who share their yearnings and a few more people besides These would include Elvis fans and devotees of Broadway musicals like Cats, Les Miserables and Phantom of the Opera as well as traditionalists warmed by Yiddish favorites like “Raisins and Almonds” and “My Yiddishe Mama”. He even does Italian staples like ‘O Sole Mio. Mr. Fisher’s show in short has something for everyone expressed in a palette of languages and styles. Never on Friday shows off the wide-ranging voice that has taken Mr. Fisher, a cantor since 1973 to synagogues around the world. He is known on Broadway and in the West End as Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. He can also be heard on the soundtrack of the Prince of Egypt. Ran Avni, the founder and artistic director of the Jewish Repertory Theater smoothly directed the show. Mr. Fisher is backed by a polished five-piece band. The 90-minute intermission less performance is at once an autobiography set to song. This show is a display of a vocal talent that resists confinement and an expression of religious faith that is reflected in the shows title. Never on Friday is a show calculated to pleasure the ear, touch at the heart and provide an occasional chuckle. The show will be on tour for the next few months so no matter what you background, see this wonderful performance. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Moment of Silence Remember Tonys Online? They were one of the first theatre sites to offer daily news, a thorough history of the awards, nominees and winners, and a nice library of interviews. Today the site is still a single page about the (June) 1999 Tony Awards broadcast pointing visitors to pbs, cbs and playbill websites. Finnegan's Farewell www.finnegansfarewell.com Someone actually wrote and asked if I have something against commercial websites. I don't, but most TRE readers who recommend websites for this column suggest academic, non-profit, or other useful resources. In the interests of balance, here's a nifty commercial site for those who favor another kind of theatre and theatre sites... FINNEGAN'S FAREWELL is "A NEW INTERACTIVE MUSICAL COMEDY" from the makers of TONY N' TINA'S WEDDING. August 4th it began it's repertory run with Tony n' Tina and LATE NITE CATECHISM Joe Corcoran, producer of the long running hit comedies Tony N' Tina's Wedding (now in its 12'h year) and Late Nite Catechism (now in its 3rd year), will premiere a new interactive comedy, Finnegan's Farewell, written by Kevin Alexander, featuring the RiverKids Dance Troupe and live music by the Dublineers. The two-part interactive event begins when the audience joins the Finnegan family (a cast of 25) at St. Luke's Church (308 West 46th Street). Then the "mourners" (cast and patrons) march in a funeral procession (complete with a rolling coffin and bagpipe players!) to a farewell celebration (featuring champion Irish step dancers & tappers, singing and dancing) at the Edison Hotel (221 West 46th Street) where a traditional buffet of corned beef and cabbage will be served. Performances will be on Wednesday evenings at 7 PM in repertory with Tony n' Tina's Wedding; Saturday matinees at 2 PM will be added beginning September 25'h. Discount tickets and further information are available on-line at www.finnegansfarewell.com. From the Mailbag: Choosing a Theatre E-mail address Oddly enough, I haven't played Malvolio. When I was originally picking out an e-mail handle for my < > account a few years back, I tried Shakespearean characters (because I'm classically trained) and sidekicks/best friends (because that who I play best). "Horatio" was already taken, "Benevolio" was already taken, most of the clowns were already taken, even "Curan" (a page in King Lear, which I HAVE played) was taken. I was so angry and bitter that I typed in "Malvolio" (thinking it appropriate). It wasn't taken, so I took it. Now I generally tell people it's actually a reference to "The Glass Menagerie" just to see the confused look on their face (there is a reference to Malvolio in "The Glass Menagerie if one knows where to look). Long explanation for a short question. :-) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright 1999, Mersinger Theatrical Services